What you stare at each moment, at stoplights, on the toilet, at every opportunity. What you hold there in your hand, is dying. Facebook has grown so big, so mighty and so powerful that it has forgotten who it was. It has moved away from all that it promised and instead turned into all that it could be. Let me explain. The potential for Facebook to connect us with long lost friends, half brothers and lost memories was so huge it was somehow going to be the binding that held together the pages of our lives. The ability to share each game winning goal, lost tooth, record deal or failed attempt at baked brie was life changing. So here we all were, feeding the machine with all our information, as quick as we could, willingly giving big brother everything he needed to track our likes, dislikes, quirks and perversions. But we knew that going in, we had to feed the beast, how else will we find our maternal parents? How will everyone know to write HBD on my timeline if I don't feed the beast? My birthday will be ruined! Here Beast, eat this! Oh, and for seconds I shall feed you my height, weight, hair color and even my allergies. Only it wasn't a beast back then, it was the puppy under the table. We lovingly tossed it wee tasty bits, knowing full well that it will stay a harmless wee little puppy for ever and ever. Hahahaha! Well, the shit storm is upon us, the beast is out, everything that it wasn't going to be, it is. The Facebook newsfeed is a steady parade of useless info, the game winning goals have turned into every single shot, the single precious moments have turned into every moment. Everyone you know is selling you something, be it product or opinion. Like my post, share my post, copy and paste, buy my stuff, tell your friends, join my group, blah, blah, blah. What makes it worse is that all of that useless info is sandwiched between actual paid advertising aimed directly at you. It has gone from being the binding of the book to being the actual page content . Facebook is shaping who you are and how you feel. It is telling you where to shop and what to buy what looks good on you and who to vote for. Facebook, is a cute puppy no more. You've seen it coming. You have shut off the annoyance, the religious zealots, the selfies, the foodies, the overly opinionated. You have trimmed your friends to a bare minimum, but it still gets through, it knows what you like, it knows what you need, you need to feel the newsfeed dripping into your veins. You must know what the notification is about! Click the button, click the fucking button!! GET IN MY VEINS!!!
You could however, feel this coming, you know that there are other options out there, you have been dipping your toes in and waving the aroma towards your nose, your eye has been wandering. You will go, you will leave, you will try it again with another puppy, maybe a smaller one this time, and you wont, definitely WILL NOT feed it scraps under the table. Awww, this one is so cute, it could never be a beast, I think I will name her TikTok :) She wont shit on the floor.
Anyways, thanks for reading, be sure to click the blue irony button below..